DAY 1
18:30 Hrs - The markets had not witnessed a good day, with the overall index falling 11%, with the gloomy outlook reciprocated in the dark weather outside. The cats & dogs have just barely stopped dropping from the heavens, and its time to head out. The only problem is there is no f*$#@ booking on the trains, the buses, and I can’t believe this (even after extensively searching for the Kanyakumari specials) – no hotel booking. No problem, we decide to take the auto to the Koyambedu (I know, all kind of weird names will come up), but as all good things end up in shit, none of the dear m%#$@#fu%$ers are ready to go anywhere near our first destination. So we stand like 3 dicks in the light rain on the road, waving to every auto empty or full. And finally one of them decides to drop us off to the T Nagar bus stand (which is like 1.5 km from our office). With no choice left, we take him up on his offer, and the journey is on the road!!!!!
19:20 Hrs – we reach the T nagar bus stand with no idea whether we’ll be able to get a bus to Koyambedu (I really hate saying this word again and again). But our trusty guide Ashish tells us that there is in fact a bus plying from here to Koyambedu (here I go again!) and we get into the bus most jam packed on the bus terminus, but praise the holy god, it’s an AC service. So there we are crammed in a bus running at 2x its capacity (if only the flights could also be run this way, you’re pushing the guy next to you, while holding on during the take offs, there’s a thought. Could reduce a lot of their losses, and help them to reduce air fares without a hoot for ATFs. I’m planning to take the LCC model to a whole new ground breaking level here! Mallya here I come). But for the moment we are still in the bus which is trying really hard to bread the speed barrier for the slowest f*%$#ing time set on any trip. In all fairness to the driver, 1 feet rain water clogging all the roads, the holes in the roads, and the smaller vehicles holding up the proceedings hardly were a help.
Ashish was lucky to be standing on a small pedestal in the bus, as he missed the beautiful experience of all the sewer water coming into the bus, yes, inside the bus, even with the roads closed, while Vikas and I enjoyed having our shoes and socks completely soaked. And the bus is still going at 10 Km an hour. Finally about an hour later we decided it was enough as the bus was not moving at all in the traffic, so we got down and hiked it for 15 minutes, trying to avoid all the water once again, which was not quite easy to do. Our trusty guide (more like a brilliant hound with an extraordinary nose for direction) Ashish led us onwards, till we hit another long stretch of swimming pool on the road. We were standing right there at the crossroads, and we decided to jump into the next empty auto; Vikas and I were in no mood to treat our soddy feet to another taste of the water. So we sat in the auto for a 300 meter journey with our feet up to avoid the splashing water from all sides.
21:00 Hrs – we finally reach the famed KOYAMBEDU bus stand, where we should have been an hour back atleast. So we decide to approach the touts for the bus tickets, and, well no surprise, there are no tickets available for KK, the only thing available is Madurai, which we are told is like 5 hours from KK. We try a few of the tour operators in the shops and it’s a f*%$#ing cartel, no seats for KK. So we take the only available non-a/c seat for Madurai, and get the last seats, literally the last ones! And we wait for the next 45 minutes for the bus to get filled up enjoying the humidity after the rains and donating our blood for the poor hungry mosquitoes.
22:00 Hrs – finally the driver decides he’s good and ready to put his foot to the accelerator and we’re offffffffff, well once again trying to match a snail’s pace, covering a whole km in an hour. And just when you think that the bus ride couldn’t be more enjoyable – the unthinkable happens – the only hole that scores of vehicles ahead of us had avoided, well our brilliant driver decides to test that one with the wheels of our bus. No surprise, the tyre gets wedged in the hole and the engine gives way. The driver tries in vain time after time to resuscitate the engine, but it just won’t start up. So there we are stranded right in the middle of the road, with traffic moving slowly and slowly around us as the driver calls for backup. The backup arrives in the form of a motorcycle bearing the mechanic, who tinkers around for 20 minutes and he too decides that the bus is not going anywhere for some time. And then inexplicably the mechanic and driver both ride off into the twilight on the bike, leaving all of us stranded there. And all of this reminds us that we were supposed to eat something, its been since more than 8 hours since we ingested anything, and in all our running around, we had skipped dinner altogether. But like all amazing places in south India, nothing is open after 9:30. We roam around here and there, but the only thing that is open at this hour is the police station, and none of us is crazy enough (YET!) to go inside there and break bread with them.
So we wait with growling stomachs for the return of the driver, and this was the time that our unified front started to show chinks of weakness – 3 different views surfaced from 3 minds, the first one (Vikas) spelling out that we call for call cab and get our asses back to our beds in dear city Chennai (it suddenly sounded so sweet a name), the second one (Ashish) asking us to wait for some more time and then decide, and the third one (Saubeer) saying that we head back to the bus stand 1 km back and get a bus to Pondicherry (which would be a 2 hour bus journey) for the morning. Well, we decided to go with the second view for the time being, and the mechanic did come back with some spare piece of machinery which he replaced, and praise the lord, the slumber-fed beast that was to transport us to Madurai roared back to life.
DAY 2
01:30 Hrs – its already 130 in the morning on day 2 and we’re still very much within the city limits, so I guess the trip is going well. With empty stomachs and the back seat ride with all the holes in the road not helping, sleep is not easy to come, though Vikas is enjoying a deep slumber and Ashish is also tucked in the other corner along with a fat chap. Eyelids finally drift closer and closer, till its 4 hours later and the bus makes its first pit stop at a highway-side recluse. When I say recluse, I meant a place for, well, I forgot I was sleepy, I just remember I went to the bathroom, did I pee? Don’t remember, and we picked up some biscuits to nibble on. And then we were back on the metal chariot that was our ride.
06:00 Hrs – I wake up, am never able to sleep for long periods of time on bus rides. Ashish and Vikas are still very much in dreamland, but the weather outside looks awesome, dark clouds still there bringing a little smell of the rain and damp soil. We’re still going through the never ending road, took a few snaps and finally rested back on my (is it still there?) spine.
10:00 Hrs – The bus driver makes a second pit stop in some town, don’t ask me the name, almost all the boards on the shops are in a language long forgotten by my ancestors (if they ever used it). Vikas and I had no intention to get off into the blazing sun, so it was up to Ashish to get us some food. He was the only one who had the sense to wear floaters while we picked out shoes with mile long laces for the trip. So we had a hearty breakfast of some pakodas and Ashish downed his third coconut water of the journey. The first base camp, that is Madurai, is still 70 odd km away, which we reckon we can reach in another couple of hours, so we sit back and try to enjoy ourselves with the beautiful scenery, rather the lack of it. All I could see were hilltops in the distance, but the terrain was no heavenly lush green, just a light green.
12:00 Hrs – The driver decides he needs to earn a little bit more commission for this trip so he makes a third pit stop, and Ashish decides that it is time for a fourth Coconut water. While he is down, we’ve asked him to pick up something salty to sink our teeth into. But before Ashish can come back to the bus, it has somehow started to move, or is it my imagination? We scream at the driver to stop the roll forward, which he decides to do after 100 metres. And we’re looking back at where mister Ashish is, and we can see no sign of the chap. We do see another couple running towards the bus, but still no Ashish, and then you catch sight of, can it really be true, Ashish, MINUS the packet of chips he was supposed to pick up. And on top of that, he is walking like a leisurely walk in the park, until he sees the bus, when he breaks into a little jog. So, we’re still three out of three on the journey.
But the fun is far from over, as the driver decides he needs to take a break and hands over the steering wheel to his assistant, while he comes and sits next to Ashish, the seat having been vacated in the meantime. You can distinctly smell the booze that the driver had been drinking, and this is the guy who had been driving us for the past 12 hrs or so. I suddenly felt safe knowing that his assistant was driving, but that moment was short lived, as, half an hour later, the driver gets up and takes over the wheel again. We carry on for another half an hour of bumpy ride, only this time I’m holding on tightly to the sides of the seat, holding on for dear life, in the know that any moment now the driver could decide to reach behind his seat with both his hands to get that unfinished bottle and leave the bus on auto pilot. At times like this I get somewhat philosophical, and the question of religion and the presence of a higher power comes to mind. I can clearly see god and Lucifer sitting side by side betting over whether we will make it to our destination or not. I can see the wry smile on the dark one’s face, but I wonder has god really bet on our winning, ‘cos I don’t see any help from his side, or maybe the bet is what is the point at which we’ll give up and turn back or kill one of us. Hmm, the last thought does come to the mind.
13:00 Hrs – we finally hit Madurai, and I’m glad enough to kiss the ground (not YET!). We enquire for a bus to KK and the tout sells us a ticket for a semi-deluxe bus (it eventually turned out that the only add-on that the semi-deluxe had relative to the normal buses was a small extension of the seat which served as a head rest). We picked up 6 apples (health always comes first) and two cakes (junk food, though second, is equally important) for the 5 hour journey ahead. The bus finally leaves at 14:00 hrs and sit back for the fun filled ride, but apparently there is not much to do, we eat the 6 apples and the cakes and have a drink of the heavenly water and miraculously fall asleep counting the peacocks outside (yes, there will be peacocks, and there were lots).
17:30 Hrs – The first pit stop for this bus ride, we should be there in another half hour, but the distance seems to have gotten bigger, as the conductor tells us that there is still a couple of hours atleast left. Its close to 24 hours since we left the office yesterday and it still is nowhere near the place we want to be at. You can feel the cool damp air outside, and it starts raining as well, just what you need, if it continues to rain, we can’t even go out to look for a hotel room, which incidentally we haven’t booked.
I’m looking out at the big windmills now, and the picture of Don Quixote on Rozinante comes to mind, but even the old Don would’ve been too tired to do anything if he had a rickety bus as his steed for 24 hours. And just when you think it can’t get any worse, we’re there, no, hold it, the board says Nagercoil, not KK, what the f*#@ is going on? Well, it seems that the driver has decided that he will take up a siesta, even though it is way past afternoon. So we stop at 8 pm in the night at the Nagercoil bus stand, and then we go ahead and board our fourth bus for the journey. But this time we have come full circle, we are doing the exact same thing that we did on the first bus ride, sitting and watching the bus move slowly through the city, but to be fair, this city is not that big, neither is it flooded. So we make good progress, and its only one more hour to cover the 15 kms between the two towns.
21:00 Hrs – Success, we’re in KK, and would you believe it, the street lights are working here and some shops are open, god is gracious to us right now. But then again, we’ve no booking at all, so we do another few minutes of walking till we reach our hotel, the double room seems about okay so we take it for the day. And surprise surprise, the hotel’s in-house restaurant also serves north Indian food, (even gujarati, the board outside it proclaimed in bold letters). We were the only people in the place at that time, it was almost the time that the sleep clock of all the inhabitants in South India commands for a slumber. We ordered paranthas in true north Indian style and some daal, ecstatic at being able to find something to eat at this time, and that too North Indian (none of us was particularly inclined to go for any of the dosas that we had fled from in Chennai), but the pleasure was short lived as the waiter came back and informed us that the ‘tandoor’ was closed for the day. So it was plain chapattis, but as you can expect, they were a far cry from the ones made up North and the daal was, well it was different, not the different like Maggi tomato ketchup though. It was barely edible, but if you’ve lived on 2 apples, some soft cake and some biscuits for more than 28 hours, you’ll find even turd laced with frosting the best treat ever (Okay, maybe this last metaphor was a bit too much!!). It was close to 10 by the time we were through with dinner and Vikas and I decided to take a look around while Ashish decided to take care of all the coconut water that he was storing in his stomach. Another 15 minutes and we were out to enjoy the beautiful KK in all its glory, okay a little weird to go out at this time when there is absolutely no soul on the road, but after having traveled so long, I was really in no mood to even wait to change before exploring a little bit of this city.
The wind was laced with a few drops of the rain that was dropping just so lightly that there was no need to open the umbrellas we were carrying, so we had a little photo session in front of the lighthouse. Then we headed to the southern most tip of Indian mainland, the temple of …………., the path leading up to it still had a few headlights, the shops all had the covers down, and the beach right next to it looked totally beautiful. The combination of the dark sky, the sound of the rushing waves, the cool wind (it was rather a gushing gale which could tip a little child over, refreshing nevertheless), just the openness that you could feel as you gazed out into the dark sea standing out near the tip.
At this point as you can imagine, I’m speechless at the beauty of it all, the shadows of the temple and the huge state out in the sea, the lonely beach, the shimmering moonlight mixed with the lamps set up there, the amazing sea breeze, and not any f*%$#ing soul in the world there, this I guess is tranquility.
MAYBE next time, I’ll take an easier route, just maybe.
